Self-Reflection
The first step to unlocking the best version of yourself lies in the ability to self-reflect. This simple quality is essential to understanding who you really are as well as the best predictor for the way forward. Think of self-reflection as a trail of proverbial breadcrumbs that grants one the power to see how past decisions have influenced the present outcomes.
Change is scary. Regardless of how little—changing anything is a difficult process, especially when it comes to oneself. You have the capability to change who you are and shape your future as you see fit. While the past cannot be changed, it remains the best teacher for avoiding similar pitfalls and preparing us for what lies ahead.
While change is definitely not easy, it is possible. Change comes from within. Self-reflection is not about changing the past nor dwelling on it. It is about learning from it and using it as a tool to fine-tune who you are and who you want to be. Maturation is a conscious effort to adjust not just your habits, but also your approach to life and decision-making processes.
“If you drive but only look in the rear-view mirror, you will surely crash into the obstacles in front of you—the past should be glanced at from time to time without living in it.”
— Me
When I was younger, I always thought that adults had their lives in order. I thought adults were punctual, upstanding citizens that paid their bills on time and always remained calm, cool, and collected regardless of the situation. I remember coming to the realization that this is certainly not the case.
A child with bad behavior will grow up to be a teenager with bad behavior that will eventually grow into an adult with bad behavior. Awareness is the capacity for knowing that when bad behavior is displayed, there are only two options; you are either correcting it or you are condoning it.
The older one becomes, the less likely it is that someone will correct their bad behavior. Not only that, but most people also shy away from constructive criticism. People generally do not like to be corrected, especially in a public forum. Understanding is knowing that constructive criticism is there for your benefit, to help you correct your flaws—not because someone is trying to put you down but because they are striving to build you up.
A quick exercise in self-reflection grants one the insight to step out of their person and view their reaction as a third-party member. A simple internal question such as, ‘is this how an adult should be acting?’ is sometimes more than enough to circle back to the reality of a situation.
So how often should one self-reflect? The answer is daily. Take a few minutes each day to contemplate your actions and decisions to understand what drove your choices. Did you apply sound reasoning to your judgement or were you strictly driven by the emotion of the moment?
Always strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. Do not fall victim to peer pressure and endeavor to be a person that you would look up to. I like to ask myself, ‘how do I want to be remembered?’. This often helps me to shape the person I am and how I carry myself. I have made mistakes in the past, too many to count or even remember, but I use those mistakes as a reminder to ensure that I do not commit those same lapses in judgement.
Nothing worth having is ever easy, but it is conceivable to mold your future. You just have to make the decision to change for the better and self-reflection is the means by which this can be accomplished.
“If you want to make the world a better place, then take a look at yourself and make a change.”
— Michael Jackson
